Day 5: 3 Boundary Myths, Debunked
Setting Limits Isn’t Selfish, It’s Self-love (And Necessary)
Read more here: Boundaries Badass 21
“The only people who get upset about you setting boundaries are the ones who were benefiting from you having none.”
Picture this:
It’s 12:01pm and you are in a small boat in the middle of a vast ocean.
Water is slowly leaking in, and you’re frantically bailing it out with a bucket. Now, imagine someone else’s boat has sprung a leak, and they start dumping their water into your boat. You’re still expected to stay afloat, but now you’re dealing with two leaks instead of one.
This is what life can feel like without boundaries—overwhelming and impossible to manage.
Laura was the epitome of selflessness.
She always put others first, believing it was her duty to help everyone, no matter the cost to herself. Friends, family, coworkers—everyone relied on Laura. But deep down, Laura was exhausted, resentful, and feeling increasingly invisible.
One day, she read an article that changed her perspective: setting boundaries isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. Laura’s journey is a powerful example of how debunking common myths about boundaries can transform your life.
Laura’s struggle began with a well-intentioned but misguided belief:
Helping others at her own expense was noble. She thought saying no or setting limits would make her seem selfish or unkind. This internal struggle is common for many of us and prevents many from establishing the boundaries they desperately need.
Her breaking point soon approaches.
After weeks of taking on extra work at the office, helping her sister move, and planning a friend’s baby shower, Laura found herself in the emergency room with severe exhaustion.
The doctor’s words hit hard: “You need to take care of yourself, or you won’t be able to take care of anyone else.” This moment was a wake-up call for Laura, illustrating the crucial need for boundaries.
Let’s explore this section of Boundaries Badass in 3 Acts:
Boundaries are not about rejection
Debunking Boundary Myths
5 Practical Tips for Setting Boundaries
Boundaries are not about rejection
Now many believe that setting boundaries means pushing people away or being unkind. However, boundaries are not about rejection; they’re about respect.
When Laura started setting boundaries, something unexpected happened: her relationships improved. Her friends and family began to respect her time and energy.
They admired her strength and honesty, and Laura found herself with more genuine connections and less resentment. (Isn’t that something we all want?)
Debunking Boundary Myths
Myth 1: Boundaries are selfish.
Truth: Boundaries are a form of self-care.
They ensure you have the energy and capacity to help others without depleting yourself. By taking care of your needs, you can better support those around you.
Myth 2: Boundaries push people away.
Truth: Healthy boundaries foster respect and trust.
They create clear expectations and reduce misunderstandings. People who respect your boundaries are more likely to value your relationship.