Day 4: How Saying 'No' Can Transform Your Life [Boundaries Badass 21]
The Role of Boundaries in Your Self-Respect
I want you to picture yourself being a lifeguard at a busy pool, constantly scanning the water, ready to jump in and save anyone in trouble. But what if, instead of helping swimmers in need, you’re rescuing people who shouldn’t even be in the pool?
This is what life can feel like without boundaries—exhausting and overwhelming.
Let’s explore this section of Boundaries Badass 21 in 3 acts:
Meet Anna
Understanding Boundaries
The 3 Types of Boundaries
How Boundaries Enhance Self-Respect
Your 5 Practical Steps to Set and Maintain Boundaries
Anna’s turnaround
Wrapping it up
Meet Anna
Anna was known for her kindness and willingness to help anyone at any time.
She was the friend you called at 2 AM to talk about a breakup, the colleague who covered shifts without hesitation, and the daughter who dropped everything for her parents.
And yet despite her generosity, Anna was unhappy.
She felt drained and unappreciated. She did not know what to do. It wasn’t until Anna learned about the power of boundaries from her father, Sol Sotherland, that her life began to change.
Anna’s story began with constant giving and little receiving.
She wanted to be liked and feared that setting boundaries would push people away. The real conflict was within Anna—balancing her desire to help others with her need for self-care. This internal struggle is common and is the driving force behind many people’s reluctance to set boundaries.
Consider the turning point for Anna
One evening, after covering for a colleague yet again, she missed her son’s school play.
The guilt and regret were overwhelming. That night, she decided something had to change. This emotional peak is a moment many can relate to—the realization that saying yes to everyone else often means saying no to ourselves.
Setting boundaries is often perceived as selfish or rude. But in reality, boundaries are about self-respect and respect for others.