Day 1: The Invisible Fence [Boundaries Badass 21]
Why Boundaries Matter in a Digital World
Welcome to Boundaries Badass 21, today we will be going through in understanding why YOUR boundaries matter, especially in a digital-heavy world.
"Hey, did you get my email?"
It’s a simple question, but it can fill us with dread.
Sonya Sotherland, the graphic designer, had just sat down to dinner with her family when her phone buzzed.
She glanced at it and saw the dreaded message from her boss. This wasn’t the first time her work had bled into her personal life, it feels like living in a digital hurricane, and Sonya felt herself getting sucked in more each day.
But tonight, she’d had enough.
Sonya's struggle with her digital life is a story many of us know all too well—We live in a world where the lines between work and personal life are blurrier than ever.
The digital age has given us incredible tools, but it’s also created a distraction monster. Our phones buzz, our emails ping, and suddenly, we’re working 24/7.
Sonya’s story isn’t unique; it's a struggle many of us face daily.
The Struggle is Real
Sonya’s situation highlights a common problem: the lack of boundaries in our digital lives.
It’s not just about work. Friends expect instant replies, social media demands our attention, and notifications never seem to stop. These constant intrusions can lead to stress, burnout, and strained relationships.
One evening, Sonya decided she needed a change.
She remembered a conversation with her father Sol, who is good in the art of digital boundaries. Sol shared how setting boundaries had transformed his life.
Inspired, Sonya decided to follow her father’s example.
The First Steps
Sol’s first piece of advice was simple but powerful: “Sonya, you need to define your boundaries. Now, what does boundaries look like for you?”
Sonya took time to pause and reflect. Then it clicked for her.
For Sonya, this meant setting clear times when she wouldn’t check her work email or respond to messages. She decided that from 6 PM to 9 PM, her phone would be on "Do Not Disturb." This was her family time, a non-negotiable period where she would be present, not just physically but mentally.
Next, Sonya tackled her notifications.
She realized that every buzz or ping was a distraction, pulling her away from what really mattered. She turned off non-essential notifications and created specific times to check her emails and messages.
This simple act gave her back control over her time.
The Pushback
But it wasn’t all smooth sailing.
Her boss was used to getting quick replies, and friends expected instant responses. When Sonya first implemented her new boundaries, she faced resistance. Her boss questioned her commitment, and her friends joked that she had “gone off the grid.”
Sonya had to stand firm.
She explained to her boss that she would be more productive if she could fully disconnect in the evenings. She reassured her friends that she valued their relationships but needed to reclaim her time.
Initially, there were taken aback but…
It Gets Better
Slowly, they began to respect her new boundaries.
The first weekend after setting her boundaries, Sonya experienced a profound sense of relief. She went hiking with her family, her phone left behind. For the first time in months, she felt truly present, enjoying the beauty of nature with a love ones.
It was a small victory, but it felt monumental.
What surprised Sonya the most was how setting boundaries didn’t just improve her personal life; it enhanced her professional life too.
By having designated times for checking emails, she was more focused and efficient. Her boss noticed the improvement in her work and eventually became supportive of her new schedule.
The New Normal
Sonya’s story is a powerful reminder that boundaries are essential, especially in our digital age.
By defining and defending our personal space, we can reclaim our lives from the constant demands of the digital world. It's about making intentional choices and sticking to them, even when it’s challenging, especially when it’s challenging.
Boundaries aren’t just about saying no. They’re about saying yes to what truly matters to you.