Cracking the Code: 3 Techniques for Assessing Character

Have you ever felt like you’re a detective🕵️‍♀️ in your own life, trying to suss out who's trustworthy or not?

Hey, I see you.

You’re not alone.

Many of us spend considerable time interacting with people without really understanding their true character.

What if you could have a toolkit that helps you see beneath the surface?

Well it turns out, you actually can.

Understanding the character of those around us isn’t just about avoiding the bad apples; it's about fostering more meaningful, supportive relationships.

Let's dive into practical tools and techniques that can help you gauge the character of the people you interact with daily.

1. The Power of Observation

First up, keen observation — your most reliable tool.

Consider Linda Lokee, a project manager known for her sharp team-building skills.

Linda once welcomed a new member, Eric Ember, who joined her team.

Eric was impressive on paper and charming in person, but something didn't click for Linda.

She felt something off.

She decided to observe Eric’s interactions rather than rely solely on first impressions.

Over several weeks, Linda noted how Eric responded under stress, how he dealt with criticism, and how he interacted with team members when he thought no one important was watching.

She noticed a pattern of deflecting blame and subtle disrespect towards less senior team members.

These observations helped Linda address potential issues proactively, guiding Eric to better integrate with the team’s culture.

2. Active Listening and Reflective Conversations

Active listening is another essential tool.

It’s not only about hearing words alone; it’s more about truly listening, grasping, understanding the context, meaning and emotions behind them.

For instance, during one-on-one meetings, instead of preparing your next point while the other person is speaking, really listen. Reflect back what they are saying, and ask open-ended questions to dig deeper.

They will feel heard and appreciated.

This technique was pivotal for Marcus Mochi, a school counselor, who used reflective conversations to better understand a student’s aggressive behavior.

By actively listening, Marcus uncovered that the student felt overlooked at home.

This insight shifted how Marcus approached the situation, leading to more supportive discussions and a noticeable change in the student’s demeanor at school.

3. Consistency Checks

Finally, consistency in character is key.

People can manage impressions for a while, but over time, their true character usually reveals itself through their actions.

Watch for consistency between what people say and what they do. If someone professes integrity but you notice them cutting corners or mistreating others, that’s a red flag.

Consider the story of Helen Heflee, a senior consultant who valued transparency above all.

When a new executive started making all the right noises about company values but acted differently, Helen kept a mental note of these inconsistencies.

This sharp awareness proved crucial in steering clear of potential pitfalls in business decisions.

In short...

Character assessment isn't about judgment (far from it).

It's about understanding deeper motivations and behaviors to build healthier, more genuine relationships.

By sharpening your observation skills, practicing active listening, and checking for consistency, you can develop a keen sense for true character.

"Character, like a photograph, develops in darkness."

— Yousuf Karsh

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