I remember when I was angry because I didn't get result I wanted.
I used to be naive - believed all people are honest and good - that how I was raised.
I was given painful direct lesson - I felt betrayed - I took it - with sour taste - learned from it.
When I'm ' honest ' and ' myself ' - I push away a lot of people who are - lets say unable to think for themselves - connected and spoon-fed by ' system ' .
Time passes, You grow and understand there is such thing as social calibration, understanding of female nature, certain situation and places require certain calibration to scan, feel and understand what is seen as decent and what is appalling.
Knowing that - You learn to control Your emotions - and be honest with selected few - You know how to present Yourself to get result You want - I decided to be honest - many will think my actions are brutal, because I speak honestly.
Funny think is I do not need to touch You or insult You - but many will be shaken because what they feel inside of them.
Have You ever tried to tell someone - they've been lied to ? - in good faith caring bout them - You gonna get insults / threats etc thrown at You..
So You stop and wait - grow - improve - and wait for moment when they will be ready to face truth - if ever..
I must say that your journey and reflections are indeed powerful. It's true that honesty can sometimes push people away, especially if they're not ready to face certain truths.
Now understanding social dynamics and learning to calibrate your approach based on the situation is a valuable skill-It’s wise to be selective with your honesty, sharing it with those who are ready and open to it.
Just curious, have you found any particular strategies that help you decide when and with whom to be completely honest? 😊
The word 'person' itself comes from 'persona' you mention, literally meaning a mask.
This reminds me of the Shakespeare's "Life is a theatre and we are all actors".
Now, the question is, what all characters do we play in this theatre? Can a name or an identity ever define a human being? Are we just a name, a noun, or a verb, ever reverberating in the endless possibilities of existence?
IMO I think a lot of our masks also depend on what stage of life we're in. If we're younger, we probably have a shit ton of masks to try to appease to every sub-group and hoping to fit in somewhere. As we get older though, we stop caring. I used to have friends that I had to put on a mask for; it was fking exhausting. Like what was the point? Flash forward to now, I've found a group where I don't need to put any mask on for and it's been the best feeling ever.
So I think it's more so we just need to cut back on things where we need to put masks on for. Maybe except like work. But if we find we gotta put one on for so many things, are we really living?
Perhaps there are good and bad masks? Ones we wear when we're out in public and treating others with respect is "good". But "bad" ones could be like picking shitty friends to hang out with (like the ones you force yourself to be with because it feels like you owe them something even though you've both grown differently in life).
Kathy, you’ve really hit on something crucial about how the masks we wear change with age and confidence. Also, it’s great you’ve found friends who accept you as you are! I like your idea of “good” and “bad” masks—using them to navigate social norms can be helpful, but they shouldn’t make us lose ourselves.
Am curious Kathy, how do you decide when a mask is necessary?
Oooo good question!! So a mask is necessary imo is traveling. You want to respect the culture of whereever you go. Take Japan for example, everyone is very polite and you shouldn't be the one to cause a commotion. IMO this should also be when most should put on a mask. Because it's about respecting the culture.
Work to some extent you will need a mask, depending on who it is. More so for your sake and not painting a massive target on your back. But it shouldn't mean you that you can' voice your concerns or able to be yourself for the most part.
It's almost like picking a battle. Know which ones to pick that's worth it for you. Like being over at your in-laws. You can be completely yourself orrr you may need to dial it down a bit by putting on that mask to avoid big fights. So in a way, it's what you're most comfortable with?
This post reminds me so much of the book I read in Sociological Theory back in university, called "Simulation and Simulacra" by Jean Baudrillard. I don't recall the entire thing, but this was something that stuck with me to this day. We all wear masks that both hide and expose certain characteristics of ourselves.
That’s the title of the book! You can find it for free on Google - “simulacra and simulation book pdf”
It’s quite dense for being less than 200 pages, so I would look up some summary articles as well. It will make you question all sorts of things about society.
Fun fact - I believe it was an inspiration for The Matrix movie series.
I suggest reading the “Simulation and Science Fiction” and “The Implosion of the Meaning in Media” essays
Masks? We all live with masks on because we miss the real talk with ourselves. It takes courage to be authentic and nowadays unique is only a word, most people are copies. It takes a lot of courage to shape yourself and stay strong by taking the masks out of us like we break wall.
As we go through our lives we keep hiding behind them. Why do we need to be excepted - from the better mask? We live in masquerade only because of the fake society. The more masks we put the emptier we became and like a spider web we forgot who we truly are and what are our values in life. And the deeper we go the more masks we're adding and the masks start to reveal who we truly are. By putting on a mask, we're removing another mask. Masks are just another lie as fear.
Do we need masks to survive among the rest of the masks - some ugly, some pretty?!
We wear masks and we can't recognise each other because we want to hide something what need to be healed. We are all perfect in our imperfection behind the rib cage. We see masks and because we use our physical eyes and they are limited and don't see what is eternal.
Life is an endless performance, really. It's just that some people recognize that point better than others. I don't feel it's a bad thing necessarily because not every 'mask' (part of yourself) is appropriate to be worn in certain environments.
Like the you who hates social interaction shouldn't be shown at a party, or the you who hates working shouldn't be shown at an interview. Just a matter of perspective really. Another nice piece, Sol!
I remember when I was angry because I didn't get result I wanted.
I used to be naive - believed all people are honest and good - that how I was raised.
I was given painful direct lesson - I felt betrayed - I took it - with sour taste - learned from it.
When I'm ' honest ' and ' myself ' - I push away a lot of people who are - lets say unable to think for themselves - connected and spoon-fed by ' system ' .
Time passes, You grow and understand there is such thing as social calibration, understanding of female nature, certain situation and places require certain calibration to scan, feel and understand what is seen as decent and what is appalling.
Knowing that - You learn to control Your emotions - and be honest with selected few - You know how to present Yourself to get result You want - I decided to be honest - many will think my actions are brutal, because I speak honestly.
Funny think is I do not need to touch You or insult You - but many will be shaken because what they feel inside of them.
Have You ever tried to tell someone - they've been lied to ? - in good faith caring bout them - You gonna get insults / threats etc thrown at You..
So You stop and wait - grow - improve - and wait for moment when they will be ready to face truth - if ever..
That was good read Sol
WarriorsQuill, thank you for reading!
I must say that your journey and reflections are indeed powerful. It's true that honesty can sometimes push people away, especially if they're not ready to face certain truths.
Now understanding social dynamics and learning to calibrate your approach based on the situation is a valuable skill-It’s wise to be selective with your honesty, sharing it with those who are ready and open to it.
Just curious, have you found any particular strategies that help you decide when and with whom to be completely honest? 😊
The word 'person' itself comes from 'persona' you mention, literally meaning a mask.
This reminds me of the Shakespeare's "Life is a theatre and we are all actors".
Now, the question is, what all characters do we play in this theatre? Can a name or an identity ever define a human being? Are we just a name, a noun, or a verb, ever reverberating in the endless possibilities of existence?
Great question, Tyler.
I don't know. Only you can answer that :)
But...
It's intriguing to consider whether a name or identity can truly capture the essence of a person.
Are we ever just one thing, or are we constantly evolving, embodying endless possibilities? 💭
Love the post!
IMO I think a lot of our masks also depend on what stage of life we're in. If we're younger, we probably have a shit ton of masks to try to appease to every sub-group and hoping to fit in somewhere. As we get older though, we stop caring. I used to have friends that I had to put on a mask for; it was fking exhausting. Like what was the point? Flash forward to now, I've found a group where I don't need to put any mask on for and it's been the best feeling ever.
So I think it's more so we just need to cut back on things where we need to put masks on for. Maybe except like work. But if we find we gotta put one on for so many things, are we really living?
Perhaps there are good and bad masks? Ones we wear when we're out in public and treating others with respect is "good". But "bad" ones could be like picking shitty friends to hang out with (like the ones you force yourself to be with because it feels like you owe them something even though you've both grown differently in life).
Kathy, you’ve really hit on something crucial about how the masks we wear change with age and confidence. Also, it’s great you’ve found friends who accept you as you are! I like your idea of “good” and “bad” masks—using them to navigate social norms can be helpful, but they shouldn’t make us lose ourselves.
Am curious Kathy, how do you decide when a mask is necessary?
Oooo good question!! So a mask is necessary imo is traveling. You want to respect the culture of whereever you go. Take Japan for example, everyone is very polite and you shouldn't be the one to cause a commotion. IMO this should also be when most should put on a mask. Because it's about respecting the culture.
Work to some extent you will need a mask, depending on who it is. More so for your sake and not painting a massive target on your back. But it shouldn't mean you that you can' voice your concerns or able to be yourself for the most part.
It's almost like picking a battle. Know which ones to pick that's worth it for you. Like being over at your in-laws. You can be completely yourself orrr you may need to dial it down a bit by putting on that mask to avoid big fights. So in a way, it's what you're most comfortable with?
Love the answers Kathy, especially respecting other country's culture. Thank you for sharing 😁
This post reminds me so much of the book I read in Sociological Theory back in university, called "Simulation and Simulacra" by Jean Baudrillard. I don't recall the entire thing, but this was something that stuck with me to this day. We all wear masks that both hide and expose certain characteristics of ourselves.
Interesting book Loren, do you have a link to the exact book you read? Might get a copy or two.
Thank for sharing too! May I ask what was your favourite takeaways from your learnings of that book?
That’s the title of the book! You can find it for free on Google - “simulacra and simulation book pdf”
It’s quite dense for being less than 200 pages, so I would look up some summary articles as well. It will make you question all sorts of things about society.
Fun fact - I believe it was an inspiration for The Matrix movie series.
I suggest reading the “Simulation and Science Fiction” and “The Implosion of the Meaning in Media” essays
Thank you Loren! You are appreciated 🧡
Love your detailed writing.
Masks? We all live with masks on because we miss the real talk with ourselves. It takes courage to be authentic and nowadays unique is only a word, most people are copies. It takes a lot of courage to shape yourself and stay strong by taking the masks out of us like we break wall.
As we go through our lives we keep hiding behind them. Why do we need to be excepted - from the better mask? We live in masquerade only because of the fake society. The more masks we put the emptier we became and like a spider web we forgot who we truly are and what are our values in life. And the deeper we go the more masks we're adding and the masks start to reveal who we truly are. By putting on a mask, we're removing another mask. Masks are just another lie as fear.
Do we need masks to survive among the rest of the masks - some ugly, some pretty?!
We wear masks and we can't recognise each other because we want to hide something what need to be healed. We are all perfect in our imperfection behind the rib cage. We see masks and because we use our physical eyes and they are limited and don't see what is eternal.
If we wear masks are we free?
Joy, I love what you wrote—how we often mask our true selves in response to societal pressures and expectations.
Am curious, have you found ways in your own life to navigate this delicate balance between authenticity and the masks we wear?
Seems tricky for a lot of people to balance it.
Do not betray your truth and the real people who share your truth will find you and they will be your people, your friends.
Life is an endless performance, really. It's just that some people recognize that point better than others. I don't feel it's a bad thing necessarily because not every 'mask' (part of yourself) is appropriate to be worn in certain environments.
Like the you who hates social interaction shouldn't be shown at a party, or the you who hates working shouldn't be shown at an interview. Just a matter of perspective really. Another nice piece, Sol!
Bethel, I really appreciate you commenting my posts with your valuable perspectives. Thank you for your kind words too 🤍
Gladly! You post some interesting stuff to read!